You're Not The Boss Of Me!

70-The Two Words That Will Transform Your Life

Episode Summary

In this week’s episode, we’re going to have a little chat about how we can shift to what we desire in 2021 by committing to the main thing - personal responsibility.

Episode Notes

It’s really as simple as that.  I’m sure if you’re a mom, you’ve heard the words “It’s not my fault!” more than once.  Those words may sound a little different as a business owner, but the concept is still the same.  

We must take personal responsibility in order to meet goals.  It’s just not optional - and it’s something that you will always come back to.  

Today we’ll go over:

Join us for a Campfire on January 3, 2021 at 8 PM EST!  I’ve gathered some of the best and most innovative women to guide you with your 2021 vision and manifesto - and there WILL be singing!

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Episode Transcription

(00:00):

We are almost to 2021. And I have two words that will completely and totally shift and change how your business, your life, the money you want to make. The freedom that you desire will come about.

(00:16):

Are you in this coming year? And these two words, are you ready? Personal responsibility. Welcome to you're not the boss of me. If you are determined to break glass ceilings and build it your way, this show is for you. I'm your host Beth graves. And I am obsessed with helping you to not just dream it, but make the plan, connect the dots and create what you create. Are you ready? Let's get started. Welcome back to episode. Number 70 personal responsibility. I know

(00:53):

You sound like a teacher, right? I'm so sorry. Like she must take personal responsibility for her actions. All right. So let's break this down. We have been talking about the millionaire action plan, the power map method. What do we need to do daily? And every single person wants a checklist. Tell me about, tell me what you did every day. Tell me what you did in your business. I will do it. Give me the checklist. Give me the goods. Don't worry. I have it for you. I have the daily game plan. I have the connect, the dots, but first and foremost, we have to tackle this piece, this big piece. And I know you're ready to turn the podcast off. You're thinking, I just want the plan. I want the plan. I want to do it, but this will be the most important work that we do together is on this podcast.

(01:44):

I'm going to also refer you to the resource, tell you to buy the book, read it, memorize it, learn it, do it. It is your business Bible. And that is success principles with Jack Canfield. The very first chapter in the book, and I'm going to give my network marketing, spin. My Beth's spin on personal responsibility. And this is in helping thousands, thousands of men and women and watching hundreds make the money they want to make and watching hundreds, quit and stop, and maybe move on to new companies, move on to new coaches, move on to new shiny objects. This is the biggest piece. And those people that are having the success, yes, there are income producing activities. There are mentors. There are groups, there are coaches and people that will tell you exactly what you need to do, what you need to post. How many of you have purchased a posting plan?

(02:41):

You might've even have my five post plan and you're thinking, okay, I'm still not having the success that I desire. So I want to first tell you that we have three things that we can control three things. And that is our thoughts, how we visualize what we want to create for ourselves and the action that we take. Those are the three things. And when we talk personal responsibility, I want to make this very clear is that we including me have grown up thinking that we're entitled to bliss to abundance, and we can very easily say, and we see this in teens, like, why is this happening to me? My life is so miserable. So we know that our default button is gratitude, but here is the thing is that when you can say, and I know that w that on paper, you can say, yes, I'm a hundred percent responsible, but then when you find yourself going into a mode of, I don't have offline support, we don't have a better, we need a better onboarding system.

(03:41):

We need a better webinar. We need to do what this person's doing. They're using this group and look at the business and how it's growing. Well, we're going to talk about that, but to achieve any part of major success in life, we have to have this agreement. We have to remind ourselves I do it all the time. And I am speaking to myself in this podcast, because even though I can say, Oh, I created a network marketing business that has earned me blankety blank. Blobity blob every single level, new devil. So every single thing that we create, we start to go back into the patterns of blame of this person. Didn't do this, and this is happening. And that is our default. That's the entitlement. So how do we achieve major success? Is that we agree that we create everything, everything that happens for us, we are the authors, the creators, yes, your divine intervention.

(04:36):

God, the universe, you could say, well, he's in control. Well, he is not in control. When you decide to eat the pizza, drink the beer and sleep until 11 o'clock right? So a hundred, you are given this beautiful opportunity, this beautiful, this beautiful space of abundance, and why is one person making a hundred thousand dollars a month? And you're making $10 a month. She does not have more luck, more money, more connections. She has to create aided it. So whenever you feel that jealous twinge, that moment of, well, if our team had this, if my upline did this, if this person posted for me like this, if, if, if, and even really bad things like things that things that are out of our control happen, we still can take 100% responsibility for our health. First for our energy, for our marriages, our relationships, our friendships, and our businesses.

(05:43):

So get away from being conditioned to blame. And I want to give you an example of when you look at 2020, and there has been devastation devastation in people's lives. I do not want to minimize that, but I want to talk about two people and I'm going to name them, Mary and Carrie. So Mary, when you talk to her about 2020, and both of these women had network marketing, direct selling businesses and Mary, when we look at the event, we're going to talk about the event and the response to the event and how you can actually change your response to get a different result. So the event being COVID in 2020, Mary said, people don't have money. This is awful. This is terrible. This is horrible. I can't believe like this. All of these things, people that are online selling things, this is crap. I can't believe this.

(06:43):

And she watched a bunch of Netflix shows. Didn't build her business. And she responded to the event with this is not happening for me. She just responded in a negative way way. So let's take Carrie. And you know what the difference is is that Carrie said, okay, okay. Wow. Well, the circumstance is COVID right. One thought could be, nobody has money. Why is this happening to us? We're broke. I've got my kids at home. It's nuts. It's crazy. Or the shift could be this. Isn't the opportunity for me to learn, to grow, to build. I'm going to commit to these things. I know I need to keep my energy here. My nutrition needs to be just like this. And I'm going to commit to putting out valuable content, to having conversations, to making connections, to learning more and more about sales and Mary's business grew astronomically while Carrie, what Mary or Carrie.

(07:39):

I can't remember who was, who did not. And that that's, I mean, that's an, a pretty basic example, but we do this every single day with every single decision. And I want you to always think is this aligned with the vision that I have for how I want my life to be? And that is last week when we said in the episode of, are you visualizing? Do you know, are you exact, are you specific about what money you want to earn? What you want your business to look like that you have the belief that it can happen for you. Then you can choose on every event that could be what is my daily action on social media? What am I showing up? Um, to post, to connect. If you're thinking, well, there's too many people already selling what I have or that's in you, or maybe you give up and you say, well, I've been posting valuable content.

(08:32):

That's not working. I'm just going to start posting specials. I'm going to, I'm going to send that spam list to a hundred twenty-five people. So you have the control. When you take personal responsibility of those thoughts, you can shift that thought from a notice, just notice, Oh my gosh, I'm blaming someone. I'm blaming that. I don't have the support or I'm blaming that people don't want my product, or I've just called my sponsor and said, I don't have anybody to talk to about the business. That's your responsibility. There are millions of people that have made millions of dollars in the online space, and they have figured it out. They have said, if it is to be it's up to me, I'm going to learn. I'm going to grow. I'm going to create abundance and I'm going to commit. So what are your thoughts? Visualize how it's going to be, and then take the action.

(09:19):

We've got to give up complaining and blaming. We've got to create and allow, create, and allow the abundance. Now, if you are allowing negativity, if you are allowing people to complain to you constantly, if you're allowing the negativity and you're not creating what you desire. So remember, we're going to give up blaming outside circumstances. We're going to give up the victim stories of, I just didn't have somebody that encouraged me. There are so many examples. If you've read David Goggins book, can't stop me. He had every reason to stop, but he would not stop. He was taking personal responsibility. Go read that book. It's so, so good. So when we take 100% responsibility for our businesses, for our lives, and we know exactly where we are heading, then the daily action plan, the checklist, the things that you commit to doing, you will have the success because when we say, okay, that's going to tell me exactly how to build my business with the power map method.

(10:29):

So we have over and over again, people saying, create content that serves, stay in connection, have the mindset, figure out what problems that you solve. If someone says to you going live on camera, that's number one, put your face on social media and learn to do it in a way that's not, Hey guys, how's it going? Oh my gosh, it's been a crazy day. That's a whole nother story. But if you know that showing up, live on social media and in a way that solves a problem, one, two, three, four, and you have a call to action. And you do that. And someone says to you, me, I'm telling you do this weekly, have your weekly show, have your weekly show. That gives value that serves. Perhaps your weekly show is talking. You are a school psychologist that works with teens, and you're having a weekly show.

(11:26):

This is just out of the blue. And this is something that I want to really bring home. Let's go and say that you know that your target audience are moms of teens. Moms of teens need your product. They need your business. And you decide that you're going to really, you've heard me say niche down, serve you. Can't just put out, offers all over the place. So your personal responsibility in your that's one big piece of the power map method. We're going to talk about this, break it down, get over to camp elevate, keep listening to them podcast. We also have the power math method, millionaire action plan guide book that is ready for you. Yeah. You need to be on my email list so that you can get all these things. And when I talk about how do you start, stop sending messages. I want to read you this message that I got, because this, even honestly, this blew my mind that there were still people in our industry that were sending messages like this.

(12:27):

And I want to give you this personal responsibility. We know that if we're going to take personal responsibility, if you want to, let's say that your goal is to start a hundred dollars a week, $400 a month. Like don't start by saying, I want $10,000 a month. If you're not making a hundred dollars a week. So personal responsibility, I want to create this amount of income in my business. By the end of 2021, let's start with a hundred dollars a week. So if you are going to make an income of a hundred dollars a week, take the personal responsibility for knowing how many sales do I need to have for a hundred dollars a week. And it can be more difficult with network marketing because you need, you have team sales as well, but I would talk to an upline. I would talk to even send it, send a note to your support.

(13:12):

What do people do to make a hundred dollars a week in this business? What rank is it? How many sales a hundred dollars a week is a piece of cake, especially if you think about the efforts of other people, if you have two sales and four of your friends have three sales, you're basically at a hundred dollars a week, I can guarantee you of that. So I wanted to share this with you, that I received this message. And this is what I want to tell you that if you come in, get to this right now that the personal responsibility for my business is showing up in a way that creates connection and content. That's solves problems. That helps me to stand out online. That's one of the biggest pieces of what I teach. And then we, I also go into sales every single day. We are, we have our offer, but we're not sending messages like this.

(14:03):

I received this message. And if anyone knows me, first of all, you know that a progressive feminist woman, you do not say, Hey, Hey girl, all right, this is a new person on Instagram. Never have we had an interaction. Never has she commented, ask questions. I just get this message. Hey, Hey, girlie. I know this is crazy random, but it, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in being a product tester for my three different products. One's beauty. One helps me be skinny. And one helps me to me with detox. You seem super sweet and gorgeous and you would totally love it. So you might say, well, she just took personal responsibility for a sale. Well, I'm going to tell you, take personal responsibility for building an authentic business that is aligned. That will create eight, the income that you want. And that right there is if she sends that message to maybe a hundred people she might get.

(14:59):

Yeah, I might say, Oh yeah, I want to be a product tester for your lash serum. I might have, I love lash serum, but she didn't create any value for me. So we had no connection. I'm like looking at that thinking, Oh my gosh, no wonder so many of my friends dislike network marketing. So let's make a commitment as a collective group to raise up our industry. All right. So personal responsibility. I want to give you an example. If you are saying, well, here's the event. I don't have people that are buying my product. I don't, I'm out of people, people aren't answering me. This is that's a major event for most people in sales. Nobody wants what I have. Your response could be to spam, send posts like that to a hundred people to copy and paste specials 50% off. And you might get some results.

(15:54):

But if you, I want to live the life of your dreams, you've got to give, you've got to say, I'm going to commit to building and growing in a way that will allow me to have massive abundance in my business. So the event is I don't have any people when I tell you, and any marketer will tell you that about what problem you can solve for a target audience for your niche. So this woman who sent me this message, she has like, I looked at her, I'm definitely, I don't know what our target audiences, there was no content that was pulling me toward detox, no content that was pulling me toward lash serum or something. That's making skinny and there was no value. So I want you to get specific. And so let's take my friend, Marnie and Marnie helps teen moms and dads to have better communication with teens.

(16:48):

And she's got a background in psychology and she works a lot with teens. So if she knows her target audience are teen moms. And she, he also knows that most teen moms are looking for extra income because college or sports and everybody, if he wants more money, I mean, everybody needs money and families. And she also knows that her product helps with energy and helps with all of the pieces that might feel chaotic in a woman's health life, or maybe she has a skincare line that can help that 40 plus year old mom, what could she put out that provides value? So one of the pieces could be that she could merge her school, psychology, her psychology background, and she could bring value to moms of teens about how to have better communication, how to set up boundaries in the house to create eight, a class classroom that will help for success.

(17:44):

How to decide on curfews and perhaps a commitment to a weekly live video that is around this content would allow her to rise above the noise. So follow me instead of sending 400 messages and starting and stopping the business, knowing this, if, if you were to say, what is my superpower? Who do I help? And how would I get more eyes on what I do now? You might say, well, that's not our product. So if Marty shows up and she masters this life and she puts it out there, she might even create some intrigue in her stories, ask for, Hey, teen moms, what is the number one thing that's happening in your house right now that you're arguing about with homeschooling. And she gets all these ideas. She's doing market research, and then she will go and say, Hey, I go live on my page.

(18:41):

Every single Thursday, I am live at 8:00 PM EST, tell me your questions. And she builds for this. And she builds for it. And people are like, she is giving value. Oh, I've got some friends who have teens who are moms. So personal responsibility for this event of, Oh gosh, my business just isn't growing. I keep posting some results and posting some testimonials, personal responsibility is saying, how do we market in this day and age? How do we rise above the noise? So we think this, I help moms and dads or moms with teens have better communication and create stronger bonds with their teens and stop the chaotic blah, blah, blah, whatever it is that you do to help. So part of that is a product. I have this product that helps, maybe it is a vitamin that helps with the moms, have energy and have mental clarity and sleep better at night. So you can have content that isn't related to health and nutrition, for example, but the commitment, the personal responsibility for growing the list is how am I going to show up and give value? Now you just can't show up.

(19:53):

Like we said, and be like, Hey guys, here I am. So I've got this,

(19:58):

This thing going on. You want to create eight a, you want to be, you, you don't have to like put on eyelashes if you don't wear eyelashes, but get a good light, create content based on, on what people are asking. You show up consistently, have a call to action. Hey, do you know any moms that have teens that are, you know, you're arguing about homeschooling or you're arguing about this rule or that rule, and you, you share resources. People will share you out. The list grows that is personal responsibility to show up in a way with content, a weekly life, with some massive content that's consistent, that speaks to the target audience. One thing that you can do to take personal responsibility for your business now, will that live, create more sales? Absolutely. But being consistent with the rest of Marnie's business, we'll also create those sales.

(20:51):

So now she has more people following her. She's providing value. She might say, at the end of her life, she may say, listen, I wanted to just let you guys know why I'm wearing this vitamin patch. It has B12, which gives me massive amounts of mental stability and patients or whatever that piece is. So calls to action. She may also then share in her content, how other moms wanted to find freedom to be home. Maybe her big thing is I want to be home with teens, or I want to diversify my income and have more money so that my kid could do X, Y, and Z or that, or, or, or right. I could. There's a million different ways that you could work on this. But this, the bottom line is the personal responsibility for the business was the event. I don't have enough people that are looking at what I do.

(21:51):

And in this specific case, it was getting clear on who do you want to have? Look at what you do, who do you, who's your target audience? And then how can you create content that serves them? You might say, well, I'm not a school psychologist. I am telling you that you have a superpower. You have a superpower that will help other people. You might be specific to your product. You might be in essential oils and you might focus on prenatal oils and creating all kinds of formulations. And I don't know, like things that help the prenatal mom, and that could be your content. Then what we have to do is also start having those. We make those new connections, start having those conversations and then go into the sales process, but commitment to personal responsibility of how you're going to show up with consistency. So instead of saying, I'm out of people, I don't have anybody to talk to.

(22:52):

I don't know how to go live. Oh, I'm not good at that. If you're going live and you aren't getting new leads and you're going live, and only three people are watching. Have you taken personal responsibility for learning to go live, writing a compelling hook that gets people over asking them to share? I've had people say, well, I've gone live every week. It hasn't worked. And I go to their page and they're live and they're holding their camera and they're watching a bird. And they're like, this is my life today. Hope you guys are great. I wanted to show you my target finds. That's great for your stories, but creating compelling content that connects, that gives value that serves your target audience. That's the way that you're going to grow leads. And that brings us back to the question on personal responsibility, taking personal responsibility to know this is my business.

(23:43):

I am going create a better quality yeah. Life for myself. I am going to create the money I desire. I'm going to get the results with my income. I am going to stop playing. I mean, I am going to like, if you're listening to this and you're thinking, well, I don't know these things. Guess what? You can learn these things you can commit. And so, yeah, the commitment I want you to make is this is that you are going to show up consistently for your business, for your energy, for your mindset. That's the beginning of, of all. What do you need to do? Does it mean getting up at five in the morning? That's my dog snoring getting up at five in the morning, doing the mindset, work, doing the meditation. Is it going for a run then? Whatever I want you to do is say, I'm consistently showing up with my content content that serves my target audience.

(24:29):

Get clear on who you help and who you serve. Just to quote, thrown out there. It's not going to do it. Do you help men who are in the corporate world that are, are you a guy? And you help men that are working in the corporate world, not lose their health and not lose their sanity. Are you putting out content that helps with self care for men? Are you interviewing men? Like what does it look like? Not just a quote, not just like, Hey, I'm watching the bears play today. And consistently then going into the next piece that we'll talk about next week is how you find like, so from our knees, putting that out about he moms, where she hanging out, maybe she is asking for referrals, Hey, I do this live every week and it's okay then to sell a product when you give value.

(25:14):

So content, how are you making new connections? How are you growing your lead list? That's an income producing activity, conversations, connections are you then making invites. That means prospecting, inviting to a specific thing. That's going to sell your product or your business. Once you put that content out the invite, how are you following up? How are you asking for referrals? And there is a way to do this. That's authentic. That doesn't sound like you're doing the lemonade Cox, which like let's back up. So if my name friend who sent me that message was putting out valuable content and she was connecting with, with me. And she was talking about her lash serum and knows that I'm on camera a lot. And maybe she made a connection and suddenly I'm like looking and saying, Oh, what is she all about? And she's showing some before and after pictures of her lash serum.

(26:09):

And then she's maybe putting out value for something that I'm connecting with. I might, and then she would be like wanting to be a product tester and her stories. She would probably have a sale instead. She chose to make no connection, serve with no value and show up. And the event is she wanted to is the message. And she's probably going to say, I don't have very many sales when she runs out of people that want to be product testers. It might work for her. I am not saying it's not working. I'm saying that's not how I choose to show up in the industry. It feels weird and spammy, if that makes sense. So I want you to remember this personal responsibility. You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, the wind, but you can change yourself. Jim Roan. That is such an incredible quote.

(26:59):

So with that, I want to say happy new year, I'm excited to work with you. We have so much in store for you in 2021. And one of the big things that is coming right up for you is on January 3rd. I think, let me make sure. Yep. Sunday, January 3rd, at eight O clock, we have a very special campfire. It is a connecting campfire and it is going to, it's going to blow your mind. It is going to give us some tools for our business. It's not me teaching you how to create content, but it is a visualization for the year. We will be talking manifestos. We'll be talking about casting your vision, and there will even be some campfire music. So if you would like to, it's all free. And, um, I'm even doing a giveaway for anybody that, that comes to that campfire, which is going to be, I'm not going to tell you what the giveaway is because it's so good.

(27:56):

But anyway, go to Beth Holden graves.com forward slash campfire, and make sure you get on that list. You'll get a link to come in. And I have some of the coolest women that are coming in to share their beauty, their brilliance, and their energy with us around the campfire. It's something that we're doing in 2021 is connecting with campfire, connecting and bringing together the voices of women in a way that will allow you to create what it is that you desire to take that personal responsibility. And to know that when it's feeling a little bit hard to do that, when it's like, I know I'm supposed to take personal responsibility, but going it alone sucks. That's why you have our community, the camp elevate community, the six-figure club and this podcast. So please reach out if you want to share anything with me, topics conversations, things that you would like to have created for you in 2021.

(28:54):

And I can't wait for you to get your hands on your power map method handbook. You get that free when you come to the campfire. So get ready because it's a beautiful 27 page little book that walks you through your exact plan. So we're gonna be doing a lot of giveaways at the campfire, but mostly just connecting with fabulous women like you. I can't wait for you to attend. So with that, remember it is Beth Holden graves.com forward slash campfire. Be checking your email so that you can have the specific zoom link. And there's going to be some fun things that I'm going to ask you to bring to the campfire. And I'll see you guys next week be well,

(29:33):

Thank you so much for hanging with me today on the podcast. And remember you can create what you create. If you're for a supportive sisterhood, I would love to see you over in our free Facebook group. As most of you know, I love camp. It's part of, you're not the boss to me because when we're building this thing, we're doing this thing. We need a supportive sisterhood and I also crave more fun and more connection. Join us at camp over in the Facebook world, the camp elevate group.com or just click on the link below. And we will see you around our campfire and help you to create

(30:12):

You crave.