For this episode, I am bringing you my total girl crush and someone who has had a massive impact on my life, Jessica Butts of the Front Seat Life.
For my entire life, I was told that being who I am is wrong and that I needed to change. That never really sat very well with me. When I stumbled upon Jessica, I learned that I was doing it all wrong. Jessica teaches us to be unapologetically who we are - and why it’s SO important that we embrace this.
When we embrace being our unapologetic true selves, it opens the doors to all the things. Happy life, happy relationships, and yep, you guessed it - more money and successful businesses!
So, let’s dive in. Today we’re going to talk about:
This is life-changing content my friend - tag me on Instagram and let me know how you can start being Unapologetically YOU!
Take Jessica’s free Core Values Exercise here.
Click here to grab a copy of Jessica’s book, Life Your Life From the Front Seat.
Click here to grab a copy of Jessica’s book, Don’t Do Stuff You Suck At.
Click here to grab a copy of Jessica’s journal, Be Unapologetically Who You Are.
Click here to check out Jessica’s Live Unapologetically Course!
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And literally the biggest mistake you can make is not showing up and being more unapologetically, who you are, if you are whatever you are, whatever you are, be more of that. But my whole thing is be unapologetically, who you are
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Welcome to. You're not the boss of me. If you are determined to break glass ceilings and build it your way, this show is for you. I'm your host Beth graves. And I am obsessed with helping you to not just stream it, but make the plan, connect the dots and create what you create. Are you ready? Let's get started. Come back to episode number 63 today, I bring to you Jessica buts. She's a truth teller, an educator, and an insanely passionate about spreading her message. Living your life from the front seat. She uses the Myers-Briggs and she adds her own spin to it and helps us to understand how innately designed we are for this world and how to start living. According to how we were designed, born, how we came out of our mamas. It will help you to be happier, to be more creative and to make more money.
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So here we go. I can't wait for you to jump in and listen to my conversation with Jessica. A little side note, Jessica was on my vision board. I heard her on a podcast. I purchased all of her books. I started to stock her heavily on Instagram and she was speaking my language. And when I started to dive into the work that she does and understand my intuition and how my gifts could best be used is when I started to not only fall into my business in a way that felt aligned and right. But my marriage having more fun, my children. And so this work that she does, it's so important. And I can't wait for you to listen and then to dive into some of the resources that she's sharing with us today. So here we go. Okay. So after that intro, you know that I have like my total girl crush, banned girl, and stocking you Jessica for, I don't know, a year
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I'm honored. I'm honored. I love to be stocked. I'm not going to lie. There are the right people by the right people
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Was listening to a podcast. And I see, I like to tell people how I start stalking you. And I think I heard you on Susan Hyatt's podcast. And then I went over to front seat life and I, I started to cry listening to you because I have been told my whole life that I don't have enough attention that I don't follow through that I wasn't capable intellectually, but I have this really high emotional intelligence and connect way of connection. So then I started to dive in to what you teach and what you share the Myers-Briggs. So, first of all, in your own words, how did you start working with entrepreneurs? Like, let's talk about what is the Myers Briggs, and when you guys hear this, you're going to say, Oh my gosh, why didn't I know this? Why didn't I know this when I was five years old, six years old, and I think it will change the way you parent, the way you lead your teams. So give me a little, like, you know, the capsule version of w how you found this, what you do and how you help entrepreneurs, especially now we're talking network marketers and you know, this crowd, you know?
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Yeah. That's actually where I started a big part of my career, which was speaking. It kind of just fell in my lap, but anyway, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah. So this is a great question and an interesting question, and probably a pretty long answer. So I fell into Myers-Briggs by very first job out of college, I went to a workshop and I literally was like, ah, I mean, it was the Holy grail. I just was like, this is why I drily. Don't like some people, this is why I suck at these certain things. This is why I gravitate towards other people. And then it also explained a whole bunch of things about myself that I had never understood, but fast forward, like 20 years. So that was like the very first job out of college. I was 21 years old, uh, at 38 ish, about 30 extra is 37. I just, you know, had the, the thing that everybody has, I had the breakdown. I was getting ready to get a divorce. I
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Love that you call them the Westwind totally
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My husband. Totally. My wasn't and I'll likely never get married again. So it's actually really nice to just, there's only one. So I was bent and I, I just had that breakdown. I was super duper, duper uninspired. I was working in corporate American human resources. I knew that it was meant to be doing other things. My whole entire life. I had felt like a weirdo. Nobody ever understood me. And I just had a mini breakdown. And I basically can I swear on this show, love it. I basically said, it. And I just up ended my life. I started the process of, you know, telling my husband, I didn't want to be married to him anymore. I left my corporate well-paying corporate job, went back to graduate school to become a therapist. We had gone through all kinds of different things in our relationship, infidelity, a D uh, addiction on his end and all of the things.
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And I was like, I, I think I could do this better. I want to do this. I'm ready. And so in that time, when I became a psychotherapist and I did couples counseling is when I started using Myers-Briggs a lot. So I'd always been obsessed with it. It had been in my life for almost 20 years, but it was really when I became a entrepreneur myself, that I realized that the intuitive part of us, the end for the Myers-Briggs nerds is the second letter. That N that is there's only 25% of the population that are intuitives. And I realized, you know, I love when you, you, you know, your message is your message. Like, I can teach this now because I realized, Oh my God, this is my brilliance. And it's the stuff that really me up in my business, because I'm really, really, really, as most of your listeners are, and Beth, you are the same way. We are awesome at the big picture. We're talking rocket fuel that book by Gino Wickman. We are the visionaries. We are literally designed by God. This is a fact you came out of your mamma. I came out of your mama.
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You and love my mom. I got to introduce you to her. Love my mom, to all of us. Intuitives came out of our mama with our personality type. This is innate. It does not change. But what happens is the world and society and teachers and Woz bins, and all the people tell us, we're not smart enough. We can't focus. You can't do that. You're creative, but you're, you know, you can't, you can't, you can't. And again, I said, it. And I was like, I am going to go crazy because I needed to prove my wasps and all these people wrong. And I just set out on this mission to start my own business and do all the things. But in that I did realize this visionary again, as Gino Wickman calls, Mitt, we are the visionaries of our business. We are not also the integrators.
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These are two different people. The integrators are the Excel spreadsheet, people, the details person, the person who sets up the zoom, the purple person who sets does all the backend stuff. And God bless those people because our businesses would be a deep without them. But they are the SS. They are the day-to-day detailed, concrete, factual. Let's live in the here and the now, Beth, I need you to get this done, Beth, I need you to do this. We know these because we have these assistants and they're like, girl, I love you. And you need to get this stuff done, but we are the big picture, the visionaries, I want to do a podcast. I'm going to write a book. I'm going to create, I'm gonna do all these things. And we as ENF PS, like you are, and I'm an ENF J all the end types we've got to learn.
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And again, you even said as a kid, to be able to learn this, then to know that our gift from God, the gut, literally the thing that we were gifted, because we're only 25% of the population. So again, I think he was like, Beth, I'm going to wave a magic wand. And I'm going to make you different and special. You have a gift to do in this world, but we need help. We need to learn how to harness it. We need to understand this about ourselves. I'm a J European. So you're a little more squirrelly than I am. And I'm a little more organized than you are, but I still have that big picture, dreamer visionary. And so when we, you know, in therapy school, we always used to say like, the first part of change is awareness. You can not have changed until you have awareness. So I watched so many of my clients just struggle and fight and push this Boulder up a Hill. And why can't I do this? And why can't I do that? And why aren't I like that? And the reality is, you're just not, you're just not, but you're fricking brilliant. You're fricking brilliant and in your own way, and we've got to learn how to harness that. So that's my very long answer to your question.
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Well, so someone's listening and they're thinking, okay, so I'm a network marketer. So for me, when we talked before, why did it take me to the age of 45 to, and someone would say, people don't make the money that you've made like in the top, top itty-bitty percentage. Because what I found in sales was I could intuitively know the next piece of the conversation. And so when someone says, can you teach me how to sell? I had to, I don't, I've never read a sales book in my life. I can intuitively tell you where, where we'll end up. And then in terms of someone coming aboard with me, it was like, get on the bus. Remember the, um, you're younger than me, but do you remember the Partridge family? Of course. Okay. So like, did you ever want to get on the partition?
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I'd be like, get on the bus. I remember calling my friend, Julie, who's an EFT. And she said her PR her profession was to getting other people to do her homework. And she's cute, like you, so she could do that. So we are, and it's funny, you know, all these people, cause I I'm going to bring someone else in too, that you don't even know that we know each other. So I called Julia. I'm like, we're getting on this bus. You cannot believe this you're gonna, this is gonna be amazing. And she's a big, one of my biggest producer. She does nothing by the book. She yells to people like, listen, you need these vitamins. We have another leader. That's at our level. It's Heidi who, you know, who lives in Washington and she is a spreadsheet girl. So can you imagine the discouragement of, Hey yeah, let's get on that zoom.
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So when people are listening and they're, they're saying, they're thinking, okay, so I don't have that sales intuition, but I have an organized, systematic way that I can go through the, somebody, we have a flow chart for objections. As one of our tools. I can't even follow the flow chart. I'm like, objections, you just move on. You know that person's not for you. So number one, if someone's listening and they're saying, well, I don't feel like I have that intuition for who should buy my stuff or become a part of this team. And people love my zooms, but I often think, do they even know where I'm going with this? I feel like we're just like, get like, let's go to REO, Speedwagon, come on. Let's go, Jessica. So what is your w someone's listening? And they're wanting to build this network marketing business. This is one of my favorite questions.
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First of all, what's that
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The first step that they can do to even find out where am I? And, and then, and then we got to talk about the drunk uncle. Cause it's my favorite thing. I'll just say, I like uncle Al get out of the car. If someone's listening first step, they say, they want to be better at this. They're not succeeding. And my, my Emily, who's my, she's my who, she's my boo. She has succeeded in every area of her life. And then she gets to network marketing and she's like, what the ? I'm not making money. And these people over here that have none of my skillset are making a lot of money. Yeah.
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So this is definitely one of my favorite topics, for sure. So I, I believe, and I've created a, uh, kind of a model around this and this is actually my next book. And I'm about to go on a whole series in 2020, one of how to get each other. So how to get each other, how to get your ICA, how to get yourself, how to get your spouse, how to get your partner, all the things. So before we go about getting other people, understanding other people, we first have to understand ourselves. And I believe with every ounce of my body, we attract the right clients based on our energy. And so when you're out there doing it, the Beth graves way, the Beth Holden graves way, and I'm doing it, the Jessica butts way, and you know, Heidi is doing it her way. We attract the right clients, but I have worked with a lot of network marketing companies.
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I've done a lot of keynote speaking for them as well. And one of the things that I have seen more than probably any other business model is a lot of comparison is why is she getting it over there? How is she doing it? What about her spreadsheets? Oh, her parties are bigger. Oh, her whatever whatevers. So I would love everyone to think about it. An infinity symbol and on one side is yourself. And the other side is your ICA, your ideal client avatar to use Amy Porterfield's language or your ideal client, your client, whatever customer, whatever you want to say. I believe a million percent that the, the miracle, the, the money, the flow, the freedom, the authenticity in your marketing comes when you can balance in the middle. So you'll notice it's not a straight line. It's not either, or, but it's a flowing constant of this infinity symbol.
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And the self is called differentiation. It's showing up and being yourself. These are my core values. I'm a right wing conservative. I'm a left wing hippie. I'm a, you know, we're literally talking about this on your birthday, which happens to be two days the day that we hopefully are, you know, find out about the election. So this is up, or you are introverted or you are extroverted, or you are a spreadsheet girl, or you are, think outside the box, or you are a thinker, or you are making decisions with your heart, or you're super organized, or you're not, or you wear Birkenstocks or you wear pink, high heels, whatever your jam is when we show up and be chocolate chip mint, ice cream, with sprinkles on top and butterscotch and all the different flavors versus vanilla, right? This is the biggest problem I see is most people try to be vanilla.
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They think I better not have a niche and I better not be too vocal in my opinions because I need everybody to like me. And literally the biggest mistake you can make is not showing up and being more unapologetically, who you are, if you are whatever you are, whatever you are, be more of that, unless you're an , but maybe even if you're an , because then the will come find you. I don't know. But my whole thing is be unapologetically who you are, know your core values, know your personality type, know, you know, have clear theme words, know what motivates you, uh, be unbelievably clear about how you show up, tell stories in your marketing. Don't talk at people, be authentic, be genuine, right? Personal stories about your struggle and find out what your message is. Your message. And talk about why you're a network marketer, because my guess is it's not because of the money.
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And if it's because of the money, you know, you're probably in the wrong industry. Talk about your kiddos, talk about freedom. Talk about why safety or importance, whatever is important to you. And then what happens is the infinity symbol. You start to float back and forth because the other side of it is talking with not talking at talking with your ideal client, avatar, connecting with them through emails, through Instagram posts, through Facebook, through zooms, through any 3m, through private messenger, through anything. And so we've got to know who they are, but we don't stop being who we are to market to them. Or we don't diminish who we are. I mean, right. The election stuff is a good example. I mean, I posted something about my beliefs and someone said, Hey, I love you. I love your beliefs, but because of your business, you better be careful.
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And I just said, yeah, I'm not going to do that because I believe, I mean, I, I PR I believe in working with people that you attract and it's okay, because the other belief is there is enough for everybody. There is enough for everybody. But if you, if we start comparing ourselves to other people or she's doing it like this, or, Oh my God, this is better for her. I mean, if you're super introverted, then be fricking introverted. If you're super extroverted than be that way or whatever it is, be more of that. And then speak to those people. What are they going through right now? What do they need? How can you, uh, you know, how can you give them a solution to what they're suffering with right now? That's I, I believe that at the core, and I believe it's the million dollar solution to marketing. Oh, amen to that. Because so,
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So many times you're right. It's this vanilla. And I, when I first started, I was told you're not going to make money. If you're super vanilla, I've not been vanilla my whole life on my daughter, like didn't know her Bible verse in second grade and came home and said like, totally what happened? I said, yeah, you don't need to go to school. And people said that, why would you just pull her from school? I'm like, because we can like dig in the juror and learn about, we can she's she doesn't need second grade. We're going to travel. So I've always been a rule breaker, definitely
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By the way. So we
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Were together and we did the same thing with my son in sixth grade. And now he's like, I found this school. This is so cool. I thought, you know, we have a year, I'm not sending him back to school. He's not going to school. And back in and out and in and out. And it's, it's literally that he goes in an avatar, he creates his avatar and they go to these towers and you're going to have to check this out. The coolest thing, of course, this is what does this totally my personality type that we're talking about this, but he's doing Marine biology. And they go into these towers and they're able to decide what project will show their knowledge. So it's so brilliant. And so he loves to create with the 3d printer. And so he's creating his Marine animal and yes. Did you, and I thought, can you imagine the Harvard of 3d school we would be, we probably, I don't know. We'd have, we'd be traveling the world right now with billions of files.
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Well, and what is interesting too, is that you've got to know who your son is too. Right? So I am so about how to get other people. And so oftentimes what, this is what we do. I mean, this is, you know, when I was a psychologist, this is what I would do with clients is we have a belief that everybody thinks like this and that people are like us. And so we project that onto other people and we have these expectations of other people, but the reality is everyone's different. There's 16 different types, but then there's life circumstances and middle child, and you know, all of these different things. And so we've got to learn who we are. What's important to us, how to use our voice, how to ask for what we want. I mean, it was fascinating to be in couples therapy that, you know, that would be one of the first questions is, you know, what do you want out of this?
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And they're like, I have no idea. I'm like, well, you know, we got to get clear about that because so many people sit around talking about what they don't want. We got to get clear about who you are and what you want, so that when, if it's with your ideal client avatar or your son or your daughter or your spouse, or whoever you can start to be in a healthy relationship and a healthy relationship is two people understanding and being who they are and holding their own and having their own opinions. Yes. You're going to disagree. Yes. You're going to whatever, but it's, it's all about being able to kind of attract that and then being in that relationship with whoever the is.
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So first when you said core values, that was one of the training I took to something. Cause I consume everything of yours. And so I want to make sure that we figure out a link so people can find that core value, because that is such a big piece of saying, okay, I'm partnered with this company, but I am an entrepreneur. And here are my core values in everything that I do. We'll go through the filter of those core values. I'm going to throw out at you. And then we're going to, don't worry, everyone. I'm giving you, the Jessica has a free group. She has a book you can dive in and even go, and we'll even grab some of the podcasts episodes that you think would be the most helpful and put those below as well. Because when I started to accept and know and trust my intuition, I started to understand that some of what I was putting on other people, it might impatience of what do you mean?
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They're not hitting that like that first bonus? Cause I just know when someone's, I just know if they're ready to move or not. So I'm going to give you some of the biggest things that I hear complaints and have you through the filter of what works through the personality types and how you would say to someone, how to deal with that. I hear so often I just can't find people or the people that come into the business with me, they're just not motivated. They just disappear. I hear this all the time. And so of course I say, well, you're speaking it into the universe. So of course they disappear, but what would your response be to that? Jessica? You're the upline here. Okay. I, I, I bring them in. They say they want to do it. I give them all the things I send them like the, the 12 videos to watch and then they disappear.
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Yeah. So, I mean, any coach gets this. I mean, this is a thing, this is a thing. So one of my very first responses to this and I also learned this and you know, I call it therapy school. But when I was going to graduate school is we can never work harder than our clients. We just can't work harder than our clients. And one of the things that I've learned over the years, it's actually part of my logo. And it's from Jeff Olson, the slight edge is that really? And this is kind of up to say, but it's true. And I find this to be true is only about, he says 5%. I'm a little more generous. I think it's about 15% of the people are actually going to do the thing. It's just a fact. People are just, people are busy. They're not super motivated.
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Really only 25% of the population are actually entrepreneurial minded. And so there's a lot of times that people just aren't going to do the work. And so number one, I really believe we just have to get over it that not everybody is going to be as motivated as we are. I've been coaching and being done, been a therapist for nine years and it's just something we all have to get over. But number two is I believe intrinsically. We have to figure out for our clients, what motivates them? What are your core values? So Jessica butts.com/core values. You can go take that. Jessica butts.com/core values. One coach, your people, step up, put your big girl panties on and coach them. What are their love languages? What is their personality type? What are their core values and what motivates them? Because what we think motivates us may very well not motivate other people.
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So I mean, that's a little bit Kiki and people call me Jessica Kickbox for a reason. Cause I get a little , a little harsh about things, but one is we cannot control other people. We can't control everybody. And so there are times I will motivate, I will inspire and I will educate. And then as a leader, I have learned it. I got to take my hands away. I got to take my hands away. Could because you can only do so much, but we also have to love our people by understanding who they are. And so I believe personally, I've got this cute little about me page and it's at the beginning of the journey. My journal that I sell on Amazon too, which is called being unapologetically, who you are. I love my journal. I'm not gonna lie. I love my journal, but it's, it has the core values.
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It has your personality type. It has theme words. And it has love languages basically to remind yourself every day like this is who I am and not everybody is like you. So stop being so egocentric and take a hot minute. Like if you've signed up to coach people and if you're an upline, that's what you've done. You have signed up to coach these people, you are getting paid basically from these people. So you got to show some love. You got to sit down and figure out who they are and ask them about those things and then do your best. Another great book is called Dom by Don Miguel Ruiz. The five agreed four agreements. So four agreements, and one of them is always do your best. And when you know, you've done your best, you get to, you get to shake your hands of it and say, I've done my best. And you know, Sonya, I'm going to let you go. And I love you. And when I have clients who leave, I just say, I will always be here whenever you're ready. I will be here because there's nothing worse than judgment or putting out that negative energy towards somebody, but everyone's got their own going on.
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Ooh. And you know what? I just decided. So I have all of my new six-figure club women, and I'm going to send them, if you're listening, close your, your ears, I'm going to send them the journal because I, you know, that's what we want to talk about as that foundation, when we first get started so that we, so one of the things that I've done when someone comes and says, yes, is I have like, I draw a picture of them because I'm, I, I love my little door. And then I do look, I just like, I want to know, do they, do they want to gift? Do they want me to, sometimes it's just commenting on their social media noticing, but here is. So when you commit to that, what are then we come to the next point of on the other side of it?
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Well, because I signed up and I bought a $200 pack and I sell $20 a month. You should be accessible, accessible to me at all times. And you're getting messages. So boundaries are a huge thing. I have to share that it was a new year's Eve. And I, this is when I decided, I think this is about the time I found you and started to really lean into like having the boundaries around the business. It's it's 1150. One of the people on my team. She's no longer. It's like, they want you to do everything some, and then they just leave without even a goodbye. And I, you can tell them better. So my husband's standing there, we're at a new year's Eve party and I get a text, Oh my gosh, my order's not going through. I'm not going to be something, something qualified. And I literally answer the text. And then he looked at me and he said, there is no amount of money in the world for your distraction of being accessible. I'll have a Voxer beep at midnight. So we've got, we're giving you our all over here, but then let's finish up with boundaries and we're going to have to do a follow-up study here to do the core values. You got to do some work before Jessica comes back.
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Here
(28:19):
Is my opinion on boundaries. I mean, and this isn't even, you know, my area of expertise for sure. But I certainly have opinions after doing this, you know, for, for nine years and being a therapist. And it's interesting. Cause people always ask me like, well, why is coaching harder than a therapist? And with therapy, there is no interaction. You are not Facebook friends. No one's sending you messages on Facebook. I mean, there's none of that going on. And when you start coaching, right, especially when you love your clients, like I truly love 98% of sorry, the other 2%, but you know what I mean? I love 98% of them. And so there is this. I want to help everybody, but here's the deal. And I think this is an Oprah ism is that you teach people how to treat you. And I have found in my experience, and this is nothing about the other person, but if you answer at 11 o'clock and they're getting their needs met, that is just a natural human response for them to keep doing that. That is not don't blame them. Blame yourself.
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It's like the dog coming in the kitchen. Every time I opened the chicken container, I [inaudible] think about yourself. I mean, if someone has
(29:33):
It's enough boundaries, one, I think you're disrespecting yourself. You're disrespecting yourself. And that person, I truly believe this. Cause I always put myself in the opposite shoes. When someone sets good boundaries with me, what do I think? I think, , that's a baller. She's a baller . I respect the out of that. I don't care what she's doing. It's really none of my business and good for her. That's what I think. And when someone is disrespecting of their own values, I think, well, I can get what I need out of this and shame on her. That's actually what I think. And so when I put myself in that I never ever, ever, and as a coach, I don't, I also am transferring that lesson onto them. Like that is not fair to them. So I, I believe, and I also believe in compartmentalization. I believe that I work my balls off my ovaries. Now I say I work my ovaries off when I am working. And when I am compartmentalized and checked out and with my partner and pizza and Netflixing or doing whatever I want to do, that is my time. That is my time. So those are my opinions on boundaries is that people will disrespect you and that's your fault, not theirs.
(30:50):
Well, and I think when you really look at what are my core values and if one of the, and when you start to think about somebody comes into the business is let them know, Hey, here's, here's how we communicate. When I started to say to your boss, Hey, let's do a 30 minute zoom. But before we do that, zoom here is I need to know this information so that we do, you know, how many people won't message me because they don't want to fill out the information. Or I say, instead of going through messenger, send that picture and the update to my email so I can look at it. And then it's, Oh, I'm not getting that piece of chicken when I go into the kitchen. So I'm not doing it.
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And I believe in having contracts and I believe in setting expectations early on, I mean, my clients know I am there 1000000% for you Monday through Thursday. And that I, you can't, you know, as Tony Robbins says, like, I'm not your guru. We also can't be everything for everybody. I also, again, being a therapist has been very, very helpful in my coaching because I also know that when someone freaks out on me, that is not about me. It's not about me. And I literally get to say it's okay. Like, how can I come to that person with compassion? Because something just went down in their life. And I happened to be their punching bag. If I am doing my job, which is also all of our jobs to do your job, like do your job. But when we're doing our job, and if someone freaks out, it's not about us, it's not about us.
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It's about something that's going on. And then we get to transform our angry to compassion, you know, on Monday morning, like what's going on? How can I help you? You know, let's talk this through. And I, you know, I have certainly learned, and I think anybody who has been doing this any amount of time is that there are people that are just not worth it. And that's okay too. That's okay, too. And that goes back to where we started this podcast about being unapologetically, who you are like, if I'm not the right person for you, then go work with Beth or go work with Jamie. I mean, it's okay. I mean, I've, maybe I learned this from dating or something. I don't know. When I went through, when I, you know, got a divorce, I started dating and it was just like, I didn't even care that people didn't like me because I'm like, it has nothing to do with me. It's just a, it's just a personal thing. And that is okay. We've got to be, Oh, we've got to learn how to be okay with people just having their own opinions. And if they're different from you, it's okay. Like it's okay.
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You can just, and I love that. Cause you've probably with all your network marketing stuff noticed, it's like this, we all have to post a certain way, do a certain thing, show up a certain way. You know what I say? Do it absolutely
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Be different from everybody else. That's my thing. I watched people do these tick tock things on Instagram. And I'm like, I will never do that because everybody else is doing it. Like every time I see
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Somebody, I just go, I'm
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Not going to do that ever. Like, I'm sorry for anybody who's doing this. But my people were like, Oh, what do you want to do for black Friday? And I was like, nothing, because everybody does everything for black Friday. Let's do something different. What can we do? That's different. Anytime you see somebody doing something, just say, how can I do that? The Beth way, the Sonia way, the Jamie way, whatever. Just stop. Just do your own thing. And let me, I mean, I'm on a roll right now, but you know how you figure out how to do things your own way. You get quiet. You tap into your intuition. Most of your listeners are probably intuitives. You know what I'm about to tell you something that you know, might take Beth and I out of business, but nobody can actually teach you anything more than you can teach yourself.
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If you are a 40 plus year old woman, you got everything you need inside of you. Just get quiet, go for a walk, go to Maui by yourself for a week, which I'm about to do shut up, turn the TV off, quit listening to podcasts, quit reading the books and get quiet. Ask God, ask the universe, ask whatever you need. But we are so bombarded with what's this person doing over here, I'm going to listen to this, or how is she doing it or what's going on over here? I will say the best ideas I ever get are from my morning practice. And when I'm just being by myself, that's it.
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And with that, let's that that's, that is my last question, because I always say, what is a routine a morning practice. Something that you can, that, you know, if it's off, everything's off.
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Oh my God, my morning. I mean a million percent my morning practice. So I have been doing this since I started graduate school. So when I was married, everything in my life was in congruent. Everything was off. It was just crazy, weird wonky energy. I didn't know who I was yet. It was a mess. And then I started doing a meditation every morning by Lisa Guymon, G U Y M a N. I should definitely get money for this. I've referred that woman. I don't even know how many times Elisa Gaiman life visualization was my favorite guided meditation. I still do it. And I had no idea where it was going in my life. I had no idea. I was totally stuck. I was totally lost. I just had no idea what I was going to do. So I listened to this meditation every morning and that became my morning practice.
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I got up out of bed. I went in the other room, even though it was freezing. And I laid on the floor with a blanket and a pillow. And I did this 22 minute meditation for like a year and a half. And I, now I don't have any children. So I will be very, you know, I'm an entrepreneur that's doing very well. And how's the team. And I don't have any kids, but I straight up have at least a two-hour morning practice every morning. It's where I get all of my ideas. I journal, I read different books. I pull goddess cards. I read out of Jesus calling. I do actually do I do Kate Northrup's planner, the do less planner because I'm perimenopausal. And my body's whacking out right now. And I had all these hormonal things happening. And so I am so protective of it that I get agro when my partner is over too often. Like we don't live together. Thank God. I love you, honey. But thank God. And I just, I, cause I can't, I got to have my time. I gotta have my space and it grounds me and centers me and reminds me of all the things that are important. There's no TV, I'm not listening to podcasts again. It's just me, God and the universe. And it's glorious. It's glorious.
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I love that. The routine I can when I am off and I've been off this week because the energy is so chaotic. And I just got into my it's setting up my space and being ready with my pillow and my pillow Santos and my journaling. And it's cool. So the, so you have the book, don't you think that you suck at front seat life? Where is I have read them both multiple times. So I don't think the very first you so live your life from the front seat is the first one, right?
(38:07):
They're all on Amazon of your life. From the front seat. This is my first book. And I would say more life focused. And then don't do stuff you suck at is also on Amazon. And that is definitely more entrepreneurial. In fact, the subtext of the book has talked about direct sellers because I was, I went on this whole speaking tour during this time and I was like, these chicks need this stuff because these, this is such a huge, amazing, uh, part of the population right now. And they need to remind themselves like, don't do stuff you suck out and be unapologetically who you are. And then I also have the journal, which is also, it's called being unapologetically, who you are for anybody who wants to take a free personality assessment. Like if you've been listening, you're like, I don't know what the hell they're talking about. There's one on my website, which is Jessica butts.com and that's and then we have
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The, and then you have the core value.
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Oh yeah. So that's a freebie. So Jessica butts.com/core values. And then anybody who's like really mega interested in where we started this podcast about learning about this intuitive part of us. I have an entire course and an entire community just for weirdos. Like I am, this is what I'm going to do until the day I die. I'm 47 and I'll do this probably until I'm 77, which hopefully I don't die at 77, but I will do this my whole life. Cause I love this population so much. And that's at Jessica buttstock com slash L you for living apologetically.
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I love when I see people I know in your groups, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I know you and your weirdo too. It's like, it's not a handshake. Can we do that?
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I am building a community of weirdos. That's for sure. Yeah.
(39:42):
I love it. That's I found this, I, this is interesting. And then we'll wrap it up. I found this letter from a science teacher. I took general chemistry because I had to have chemistry on my transcript, but I wasn't going to do the one, the harder one, so general chemistry. And he wrote me a letter when I was working at camp. And he said, because I used to like tell them that like I must have given them visualizations of being in a fish tank or something. Cause he referred to that. And he said to me, I don't think anyone's ever told you this, but if you wanted to be, if you wanted to apply to your mind to science and you would be really good at it. So don't sell yourself short. And I got that letter and I thought he gets me because he said you could take that creative energy. And so I found that and I, and I found him, I sent him an email. Oh, I'm so glad I did. He's now. Like, I think he was like 32 when he wrote the letter and he's now still teaching. And, and I said, you know, that's, that is the nicest I kept it. I read it. And I thought, Oh my gosh, he wrote me a letter at summer camp. Now he'd probably get in trouble for that. Like, because the world is so crazy
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Where you probably made his century.
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I mean, I, and I said to him, I, I, it took me three decades to find where I would Excel and be able to touch and impact more lives because of the platform I've been given. And that's where we said when we first started, even me speaking my truths on my core values of equality and what we've been dealing with in 2020 was there is someone who needs my voice and God, the universe are telling me, I didn't just give you this. So you could walk a stage and get a trophy and be in a magazine. Cause that's what I thought I wanted. And when I got that, it didn't feel so good. But what I love is that text that said, I heard that podcast with Jessica butts today and I read the book and it saved my marriage or I didn't quit. So that's why we have people like you. So thank you so much for being with us.
(41:54):
We got to do, I want to come up with something that teaches how to take what we learned here, the core values, and then the success path for, because like don't get caught up in the house. If the scripts of the sales. I mean, how many people are buying $17 scripts never run out of leads again. Like that's just you connection in your conversations. That's whole, we could do in deeper because that's all about the end and that's what makes us so unique and special and rare and awesome. Thank you. I love it. Thank you, Jessica. Thank you. Didn't you? Yeah. Like you were hanging out with your best girlfriend. I just love Jessica and I cannot wait for you to get your hands on her book, her journal, all the links are below. And also I did do her free core values, freebie that she calls it.
(42:45):
And that is something that I want to encourage you to do so that you have that filter that foundation for your business. So thank you so much for being with us today. Ratings reviews, screenshots tag us both so that we can shout you out also in our stories on Instagram. And I'll see you next week. Thank you so much for hanging with me today on the podcast. And remember you can create what you create. If you're looking for a supportive sisterhood, I would love to see you over in our free Facebook group. As most of you know, I love camp it's part of, you're not the boss to me because when we're building this thing, we're doing this thing. We need a supportive sisterhood and I also crave more fun and more connection. Join us at camp over in the Facebook world, the camp elevate group.com or just click on the link below. And we will see you around our campfire and help you to create what you crave.