Today's episode is all about the surprising reason why most people quit when they really might be three feet from gold. If you're thinking it's vision, consistency, or effort - it's really not. I used to believe those were the reasons, too - listen in to learn what I've discovered.
Quitting. The reality is, most people never see a business through to the success that it could be. They give up. And it isn't because they didn't have time to post every day. The problem isn't with your vision, your consistency, or your effort.
The problem likely lies in your beliefs. You know the ones - the little gremlin thoughts reminding you every day that you aren't good enough, that you'll never succeed, and who are you to even do this, anyway?
We all have them. Mastering them is the key to success. Let's talk about how you can do that.
On today's episode we'll cover:
- The importance of being coachable
- The steps you can take daily to manage those negative thoughts
- Shiny Squirrel Syndrome (yes, it's a real thing!)
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Speaker 1: (00:10)
Welcome to you're not the boss of me. If you are determined to break glass ceilings and build it your way, this show is for you. I'm your host Beth graves. And I am obsessed with helping you to not just dream it, but make the plan, connect the dots and create what you crave. Are you ready? Let's get started. Welcome back to episode number 55. My friend, this episode is going to talk about why people do not succeed with our network marketing businesses and why it's not going to be you. And I'm an expert because I am a professional at stopping too soon, in many, many areas of my life over the years, and in many businesses and many times it was because I didn't have a plan in place. I didn't take the time to learn the new skills. I didn't show up before I was ready and something shifted magically.
Speaker 1: (01:06)
It was my time. It was God's divine choice. It was that I was just flat out determined to figure out a way that we were no longer going to have financial stress and figure out a way that I could have what I call gaining my power back, meaning a decision maker. And also I was so craving something of my own. And now looking back, it is so clear that I love building community and helping women like you to break through. As you hear in the intro break through whatever ceiling that is, that you feel is over your head. So one of the things that makes me that makes me sad is when I've worked with someone or when I have someone on my team, or I even watch a sideline or someone in the industry, just walk away from something that, that maybe, I don't know, five months away, they're three feet from gold and just getting up for a variety of reasons.
Speaker 1: (02:13)
And there's all of the things like this. This podcast could be commitment, vision, all of the things, but here's what I noticed the most is not being coachable. And what does that mean? It means when someone says, well, you're not retaining, like if you're not retaining your customers, tell me about your customers journey. What do they, when they order with you, what is the process? And as we think about that, I will have someone say, well, I, I'm not good at emails. I don't understand. I don't, I don't have an organized email list. I'm not sure. Yes, I'll organize. And there's a lot of waste. Well, I'm not really good at that. And don't they can't, they check that out themselves. And instead of looking at the business from a CEO point of view, number one is not being coachable and taking responsibility for the different levers in the business.
Speaker 1: (03:14)
And sure, we come in and it's duplicatable and we say, Oh, we're going to have this launch event. We're going to show you how to post on social media. We'll even show you how to send some messages, how to do a three way chat. And when that stops working or when that's not effective, or when you start running out of people that are answering to your sampling posts, it becomes while I tried, there's nobody. I tried. You told me to go live. That didn't work. I don't have customers that want to stay with the product. And it's a lot of negative excuse. And I'm not even saying excuses because I get it. I get the discouragement. And I want you to look at the circumstance of anything in your business and choose the thought. So the not being coded [inaudible] should really be choosing the wrong thought about the circumstance.
Speaker 1: (04:09)
So many times you'll hear, Oh, she's just not coachable. Well, I don't think anybody comes into this business and says, I'm not going to be coachable. It is fear. It is not knowing it is, is someone told you you're not good at technology. You shouldn't do that. You're not organized. You shouldn't do that. So it's looking at the levers of your business. So being coachable to me means taking a look as a CEO at, okay, so I need to grow my business. What are the areas of my business that I need to learn and work on and be coached on and be willing, willing to do the work, make the mistake. My friends of saying it's so easy to build everything's in place a business in a box. Yes, it is a very easy business to get started. It's very easy to hit the first rank because you'll get momentum and what's not so Oh, easy is continuing to grow, grow and build a sustainable longterm business.
Speaker 1: (05:10)
So when I say being coachable, that means coaching yourself, being coachable too, to be able to say, okay, what's the missing piece of my business, looking where the profit leak is. And so I'm going to talk customer retention because I coached on this. And the person that I coached on this was like, Oh my gosh. And I just said like, and I'm really working on pausing and not using filler words. So let's be no more like this is a side note. I was listening to someone talk about Facebook lives, talking about even voice memos and powerful words that we can use. And when you start to listen to the filler words, like, um, you know, those words start to listen to yourself back. And then when you start to put one of those words in pause, it's, it's very difficult. And now I feel like I'm tongue tied because I'm telling you that that's another piece of coachable.
Speaker 1: (06:13)
So the number one thing is coachable. Being open to looking at the business or having someone, an upline, having a coach help you to look at the levers of your business and then for you to say, okay, here's the circumstance. You either don't have enough people to talk to you either don't have enough people ordering you either are not attracting people on social media in the right way. Or perhaps you are not even showing up consistently for the business in a way that is allowing success to happen. Or perhaps there's another side of it. You have customer sales, but you are not showing up to help the newest person to grow. And so it's being able to say, here's the piece of my business, the profit leak. I want to coach myself and say, here's the circumstance. I'm not having team members have success when they come on board.
Speaker 1: (07:15)
And is there evidence to show that other team members are having success? Yes. There's people all over the place having that success are any of those bonuses hitting those ranks. So could you look at the onboarding process? Could you look at the connection? Could you, could you look at how to help that newest person, if you're not keeping your customers, if you're not able to close sales, looking at the business and saying, Oh, okay, here's what I need to do. And I am going to, I am capable. I am open and I'm going to do the work to fix it. So being coachable, being able to coach yourself to find those areas of your business, that where you need to improve. The next thing that I see is investing in the wrong people. These are not your typical it's investing in saying, Oh, I'm going to learn this.
Speaker 1: (08:05)
I'm going to spend money on learning, how to put together a profitable Facebook group. Let's say, and those are all great things. And I'm all about coaching. You guys know that I always have a coach. I have paid over a hundred thousand dollars in coaching. Since I started in any area where I see my profit leak, where I see my weakness, whether it is mindset, whether it is learning, how to use automation and building a funnel, whether it is learning routines, rituals, productivity, social media, and building out a business plan. I've had coaches for network marketing. I've had coaches for the coaching business, and that has been a piece of what has really helped me to grow. But I've also realized that my business has to come from me. So when you hire the wrong person and it's jumping on that bandwagon and saying, okay, this is how I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: (09:03)
You've got to understand the business levers, the levers being the, the pillars, the levers you need to pull would be, am I showing up with consistency to myself, to my routines, to my mindset, to the work, am I getting the successful? People know that we're getting up in the morning and we're getting our mindset clear and we're, we're raising that vibration and attracting the abundance. So do I have the routines and rituals in place? Do I show up every day, I might have learned this brand new strategy that is going to help me to create Facebook communities or help me with my hashtag strategy, but I still need to look at the basics of the business being, how am I attracting new people? Meaning what's my lead generation strategy. How am I helping new people to get started on the product? How am I helping my new business partners to get started?
Speaker 1: (09:59)
How am I creating community within my team? And most importantly, how are you growing in your sales and your success? And how are you going to implement this new strategy? Many times we'll take a detour and say, well, this is, this is going to work. And we forget all the things that have worked. So here's what I'm going to tell you. What has worked for you in the past. If you've had sales, if you've had success, if you've hit ranks, you know what has worked. So you might have to look at it from going back to the coachable. Okay. So it used to work when I would send this message. That's not working anymore, but I know that people, I have evidence that people that are showing up and learning how to solidify their niche, how to brand themselves as the go to person. So they stand out.
Speaker 1: (10:49)
These are all things that we talk about in my coaching programs. These are all things that we talk about on my personal team. And these are things that you can hear about. We have a free five day masterclass coming up in October, where I'm going to break this all down and we'll put a link below, or you can actually get on the list for the masterclass or better yet. Just make sure you're in camp elevate or make sure you're on my email list because you will be blasted with it. So, because I want you there. So here is the thing as when we look at, we could say, okay, so we're missing our, we're missing the coachable piece of looking, being able to look at our business from standing back and saying, where, where do I need to grow and learn? And how do I apply that?
Speaker 1: (11:32)
And then the next piece of it is that we're hiring the wrong people, or maybe we're hiring the right people, but we get on a detour and we have to always stick with what are we doing? I do the power map method. And many of you have done that with me, where it is all about how we're pulling people toward us, how we're connecting, how we're popping in and sharing value and how we're inviting them to what I call your irresistible offer, which could be your product package. It could be a challenge, but we're, we're really mindful of where people are in our funnel. And that's the next piece that I want to talk about. So we've talked, coachable, we've talked, hiring the wrong people or not hiring the wrong people, but getting detoured by a shiny squirrel and not applying the shiny squirrel. Meaning if you got detoured and you thought, okay, I'm going over here.
Speaker 1: (12:30)
And I'm going to build all traffic coming from Facebook ads and never build a community again, of people with connection, then you're thinking, okay, so that didn't work so well because we are about human connection. But how could you apply a new strategy to your current business levers that are working? The next thing that we are going to discuss as one of the reasons why people quit is they listen to these little, these little gremlins that say, Oh, that's not going to work for me. I already tried that, Oh gosh, these businesses don't work. I don't have time. I can't hop on today because the kids are crazy. You just don't understand. I don't understand how to do that. You know, I'm not very good with money. People just aren't responding to my social media. I already tried to have already tried to go live.
Speaker 1: (13:28)
Uh, do you hear it in my voice? Do you hear something, something that might have come up for you? So it's the negative self talk. It's the negative self talk. And that goes back to the coachable of looking at what's coming up. And I used to be so raw, my friends, and I would say, come on, you can do it. Shift that attitude thing, come up, shit comes up. It comes up all the time. And I'm realizing this because building out another business that requires a skillset. I love the coaching piece. I love writing the coaching program. I love creating systems and strategies and delivering them in live training or in even a recorded training. But the other part of it, which is figuring out what email you get after you click on this and where does the podcast go and how does it get uploaded?
Speaker 1: (14:29)
And here we're doing a challenge and the challenge has to have these levers to it and how to price a coaching program. How to write a sales page, how to put together a Facebook ad. These are things that I didn't have to do a network marketing. And I realize how darn lucky it is that we as network marketers, don't have all of those responsibilities, but I wanted to build out. And I desire to build out a very, very, very large successful coaching program alongside of my network marketing business. Why? Because it's on my heart because I am watching people that are coaching in the industry that are doing it in a different way than I know many of the women that come to me want or need, or I just feel that I want to, I want to fill this niche. And I know that what I do is powerful.
Speaker 1: (15:25)
I know that I've been told that. Of course I have that other gremlin. And I'm talking about my personal experience with a new business so that you can get that I'm no longer that person that says you've got to have vision and believe, and you've got to wake up every morning, my friend, and you've got to know that it's happening. Do I know that people make multiple six figures if not seven figures in coaching businesses? Yes. It happens all the time. Do I look at people and I'm walking you through this so that you can hear how the thought process will work. I look at people that I know have not had the same success in network marketing, but they're having massive success in coaching. I also look at people who I don't think are as qualified to do a job of coaching because it's maybe too old school.
Speaker 1: (16:11)
I'm not being critical. I'm just saying that. That's what goes through my head. There's evidence to show that someone that presents a coaching program like mine will have success. So what stops then I start to hear the gremlins. It's too much work. You can't put that on your plate. You already have a huge team. You have residual income, just do what you know bath. And when I start to start to hear those thoughts, and I hear the things like it's a beautiful day, just go outside. You've already finished all your first business. Just stop. There's no reason. It's just not something that you need to be doing. Those are the things that happen to us. And so instead of someone saying positive mindset, all the time affirmations, we know that there is a routine that will raise the affirmations that will, that will help us to have the abundant shift as we call it.
Speaker 1: (17:07)
But we also have to look at those thoughts and see them, see those thoughts for what they are and say, where's that coming from? Have the conversation about, Oh, okay. There you are like, think about an Instagram. Real where, where they, where we point I made one, it was super cheesy where we point to the words, think about your thought like that. So when you start to hear, I don't know why I bother. I just want to do this part time. I have a college degree. I don't need to do this. I have a regular job. I don't have time. I don't want to be told what to do. I'm too tired after work. Notice the thought and say, is this growth? Is this a growth growth mindset? That sounded kind of weird. Is this a growth? Is that, is that helping me to grow?
Speaker 1: (17:53)
Or is that holding me back and giving me doubt? And is it just allowing me to have more excuses? So when you move to an and I've evolved from go team, go team, pull out that book and read those affirmations. Yes. Do the affirmations, do the work, do the breath work. I did not do my meditation this morning. I've been working out with my friend Weatherly, who is an incredible artist. I'm going to, I'm going to link her below, even though it has nothing to do with this. She's just an incredible artist and superhuman. And we've been working out at five 30 together, outside bootcamps. So social distancing and I have walked in the door. Yogi needs a lot of medication right now. Things get busy, homeschool starts. I jumped in the shower. I think I've got to work. And I can honestly tell you when I am missing that routine.
Speaker 1: (18:45)
And when things feel frazzled. So knowing those routines work, instead of saying, you have to have this hardcore vision or you're missing out, and that's why you're quitting. No, you need to really know what, what can happen in a business. You need to know that it's possible. You need to know exactly. Of course it helps and works. If you say, this is where I'm going to be by 2021, because this is the Christmas I want to have. But most people quit because they don't know how to handle the gremlins. So that's what I want to share with you. This is so different than these are your excuses. You need to fire up. Yes. Read the personal development. Yes. Listen to the podcast. Yes. Do the meditation. But begin to notice, begin to notice. What are those thoughts? What are those gremlins? What are they saying?
Speaker 1: (19:39)
And observe them like a real coming off. You're pointing to it. Oh, there's that thought? There's that thought that people won't buy what I have. There's that thought that I can't show up on social media. I don't know what to post. I can't instead say, all right. So if this is a lever of my business, one of my business levers, meaning for the coaching business, one of my business levers is having clear copy about what my map mastery program will look like and giving a clear picture. Yeah. A success path. When I present it to say, here is what you are going to learn. Here's where you'll start. And here is where you're going to end up. And the content is easy. I know exactly what to teach someone, to take them from a to Z in network marketing or their online business. I know exactly what to do, but what gets in my way is, Oh my gosh, well then they need this.
Speaker 1: (20:40)
They need to get this email. They need to get this. And then I need to write this. And what if this doesn't make sense? And, and then this has got to go and this, and here, all of that chatter. So that's when I stop, I breathe, I look at it and I say, what is really going on? Do I have fear about launching a new program? Do I have fear around that the tech will stop working. When we launched the map membership, we had to stop and it's still on hold because some of the levers were missing. And instead of saying what a failure, I realized that it was stalled for a reason because we have now trademarked and written and have the power map method. And we have so many exciting things because I was able to get feedback of it needs to be easy to access.
Speaker 1: (21:32)
It needs to be something that's 10 to 15 minutes a day to, to grow my business. And that's, that's another piece of the coaching business. So I guess the long story here is that saying you don't have enough vision. It means that you're letting the gremlins just take over your vision. You're letting the gremlins, the naysayers, the voices, the all the way back to the math teacher telling you, you're not good with money. You're letting those people control your destiny and it needs to stop. And so if you need to work on that piece, it's not that you don't have vision. I know that you want to do it. And we've talked about what does it take to coach yourself, be coachable. We've talked about in not just investing in the wrong person, but jumping on every bandwagon and not staying consistent with what will this new thing helped me with in my business.
Speaker 1: (22:33)
Remember we talked levers, and now I'm saying you don't lack vision. You might be doing all the affirmations. You might be doing all the things. Maybe you're not. I still had success when I wasn't doing it. I can tell you I'm way better and way nicer. I attract way better people too, when I'm in a high vibration. But there's many people that have made millions of dollars that have never meditated. We're just saying that we want to have a joyful, peaceful life with self care. So I want you to say, to say right now, anybody that says, you're not motivated, you don't have vision and you better be getting up at four in the morning. And if not, you don't have commitment. No, there's gremlins. There's people, there's voices coming and telling you and getting in your brain space. So I want you to shift it to looking at it from the doc.
Speaker 1: (23:23)
Remember OSA, look at it from the dock, look at it, Luke, just look at the words, look at them, thought, download and say, okay, where's this coming from? And is this true? If it is true, how, how do I move forward? Is it true? I don't I'm I'm behind. Cause I don't know how to do X, Y, and Z. Well, you're, you're not behind because people have built businesses. If they don't know how to do an Instagram real, for example, I keep bringing up Instagram rails because I heard a video today that said, if you're not on Instagram rails, you are totally missing the boat. Well, yes, Instagram rails are incredible, but if you're not ever on Instagram rails doesn't mean you're never making money. No, but let's go back to number two, which was when I said, I said hiring the wrong people. I should have said shine, chasing shiny squirrels, and then deserving the core, the core pillars, the core levers of your business.
Speaker 1: (24:17)
So let's think about Instagram reels. So where does that fit into your business? Maybe you took a little class on it. Maybe you took a little course and you're learning some Instagram thinking, where does this fall into my business? Is this where I'm showing up with visibility to attract new? Is this helping me with the case connection of pulling them toward me? Remember we attract more leads people because we are targets snipers in our marketing. And then we nurture that lead. We nurture in many different ways. That's a whole nother podcast. And then we nurture and we create an irresistible offer. Meaning we are going to ask for the sale and we're going to offer what we have. And that's another skillset. So where does it fall? Is it my sales process? Is it my isn't my customer journey or my new business partner journey.
Speaker 1: (25:08)
So Instagram reels. Oh, that would fall under visibility. Attracting more leads. Okay, good. So let's put it in that category and then I'm going to, I'm going to rock it, but I'm also going to give myself 15 minutes a day because I can't let my customers fall off over here or my new business partners. Does that make sense? I wanted to, I think I'm a stop there. So let's review number one, one coachable being coachable to say, okay, that's an area of my business that I definitely need to dive into. And that is where that might be one of my missing pieces and diving in getting it done and being open to it. Number two, we talked about, I started by saying hiring the wrong person, but I think that would be believing that that person is the absolute guru and giving up on all the things that we know work and not seeing where that new skill, that new strategy fits into the framework of your business, those business levers.
Speaker 1: (26:11)
And then number three, you don't lack vision, right? You have voices. You have, there are voices in your head, you have doubts and fears and it's not because you lack motivation and it's not because you lack vision you're on this podcast. So when someone says you need more vision, remember what I said is, Nope, we are going to price above even those with the biggest vision in the world, because we are going to know how to manage our thoughts and how to choose again. And one of the pieces of the coaching program in working with us in camp elevate is I recognized that being a motivational speaker is not what all of you need. It is learning how to self coach. It is learning that piece of, Oh, okay. That's, that's a crazy thought. Let me take a look at it over here and let me choose again.
Speaker 1: (27:10)
And then it is also being able to self coach to say, okay, why do I need to put in place so that these things stop happening. Maybe you have a friend who's constantly a naysayer to your business. And then you have to say, okay, I need a boundary. I need a conversation or whatever the case is. And so that is the biggest piece of your business is being able to manage your thoughts, manage your thoughts. So here's an example. I'm too tired of not waking up in the morning. I'm stressed out. I need to sleep. I need to sleep. I'm not waking up. I'll catch up tomorrow looking at that to say, okay, what's going on here? Okay. Do I really need sleep? I think what I need to do is commit to what I know works for me, which is meditate, affirmations journal, and just clear, clear my clutter.
Speaker 1: (28:01)
I need to commit to that. Okay. So, okay. That, that little voice go, go, go away. Because I have this new thought that is, I'm going to commit to the morning routine. I totally got this. I'm going to set the alarm. I'm going to put my clothes right here next to my bed. And I'm going to reward myself with adding blueberries to my morning, shake, something like that. So I hope this episode has been helpful for you. It is probably not what you expected because when I hear that you lack belief and vision. And if you would just stay consistent, nobody heads out into a business to say, I'm no longer going to be consistent. Sister. I'm not showing up today. Something happens along the way and we don't learn to learn to manage the thoughts. So coming up, I think it will be next week.
Speaker 1: (28:53)
I have got to nail her down. I'm going to have Stephanie Britt who is a certified life coach. And she's going to actually do some, maybe we'll have three people on that's what we'll do. We're going to have three people on and we're going to actually have Stephanie coach alive. If you want to be coached, live about the gremlin thoughts in your head. If you want to be that person and you're willing to come on the podcast and do it, let me know, send me a, an email at Beth at Beth Holden graves' dot com. Shoot me a message in the DMS on Instagram or over on Facebook. If we're not friends, sometimes it goes to the other. So make sure you get me from all angles to make it. And if it's in camp elevate, you can even post in there. If you want to be coached alive by life.
Speaker 1: (29:39)
Coach Stephanie, who has really helped me. And so many of my teammates and my clients to look at this model and say, it's not that you didn't want to show up. You did want to show up. It's just that you didn't know how to manage those thoughts. And I wish I would've known this a long time ago, but let's work on this together. We've got you. So that's it for episode number five, five 55. What a great number. I think there some magic around 55, I've got to take a look at that. And I would love for you to come over to camp elevate, where we are going to be talking about all of these things, but also those levers to your business that I talked about. If you're thinking, what is she talking about with my niche, my sniper marketing and my lead generation and how I nurture and how I close sales.
Speaker 1: (30:31)
I need to know more of that. Then you come on over to camp, elevate our free group. We also have a live masterclass. That's going to be monetize your message. It's coming up in October. And I want to make sure that you are there because it is going to be what, what did the kids say? It's going to be so dope. I always wanted to say that. That sounds so weird coming out of my mouth. So I adore you. I love you. Thank you for listening. I want you to be brave and have courage. And I want you to say, I don't have a lack of vision. I just have to learn how to manage these thoughts and choose again and have, have that discipline to work on it, to say, okay, go away. I'm noticing you. I see you. I am going to take a look at what another option would be.
Speaker 1: (31:22)
You've got this. I know you do. And you are going to evolve and grow and elevate even more. Now that you have not only a strategy, but knowing how to manage those little gremlin, thoughts that pop up so often. All right, I'll catch you all next week or I'll see you on social media and camp elevate a live Wednesday at one o'clock. We do our power map method training at eight o'clock on Beth Holden, grace I'm live on Thursday nights, 8:00 PM, E S T. And I'm going to add IETV so hold me to that as well. So you guys next week,
Speaker 1: (32:02)
Thank you so much for hanging with me today on the podcast. And remember you can create what you create. If you're looking for a supportive sisterhood, I would love to see you over in our free Facebook group. As most of you know, I love camp it's part of, you're not the boss to me because when we're building this thing, we're doing this thing. We need a supportive sisterhood and I also crave more fun and more connection. Join us at camp over in the Facebook world, the camp elevate group.com or just click on the link below. And we will see you around our campfire and help you to create what you crave.